The Quest for A Good Day

Be on the lookout! There’s no rush, but this design is tired and the blog-only usability could use a boost.

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.

Gandhi

I often wonder where it is that I should be in life. I wonder if I’m doing something wrong or if I may be steering myself along in the wrong direction. The truth of the matter is that there is no right or wrong direction. We are creatures of our own destiny and if I am doing something, it is nothing more. I am doing it because I wanted to and that is the way it was meant to work out. Now I realize this is quite the philosophical statement, but think about it… What difference does it make if we do something “right” or “wrong” in the grand scheme of things (barring any ridiculous acts like murder, rape, etc.)? You live and you learn!

Now, applying this to my situation today, I wonder what it is that I’m supposed to be doing. I saw a popular blog was hiring an intern for pennies to work in New York City. That sounds like a dream to me. Not to mention the blog is a technology blog, which I love. But I wonder if that is a phase or if I would truly enjoy it. I also wonder if I should truly try graphic and web design and see where it takes me. I can’t imagine that it would lead me any further off of my life path than where my degree did (bad move on my part). I suppose I should look to my earlier point: Life is for living and in the grand scheme of things, there’s no reason to be worried about whether or not I’m in the right moment or not. I am simply in the moment! Thanks for reading.

Another day,
Nate

Motivation Tip #2:

When encountered with any kind of drama that I find unnecessary, I tend to become very empathetic. VERY. There was a period, however, where I felt that I was walked all over because of my general nature and I began to change my ways; there was a time where I was losing my empathy because I was wearing thin and felt very used.

I must remember… at the end of every single day, I’m still a human. It doesn’t matter who cut me off on the interstate or who asks me to borrow money or even if I accidentally take all the great gifts in my life for granted. As humans, we certainly all make mistakes and we all forget that we are all of the same species at the end of the day. We have the same organs and the same ears to hear each others’ beautiful and unique voices and the same hearts to love one another.

So, as I was losing my empathy I felt that I was losing my self. I felt that I was being misguided by a harsh reality that I could not have seen coming. I was letting myself lose the battle of good and evil. I was becoming a person I never wanted to be.

So for all the things people do in the world which bring about dissatisfaction to your thoughts, remember:
We are all human and the same species. We are all on the same level. No matter how rich, no matter how poor; no matter our dialect, ailment, success or failure… we are ALL human. And if you ever find yourself unhappy because you feel you are reserving sympathy that you truly wish you could give, make a decision:

“I AM HUMAN AND I HAVE THE RIGHT TO GIVE EMPATHY TO ANYONE.”

You alone can be the change in the world you wish to be. We cannot always help those we wish we could, we can not always assist with finances, hugs or kisses, but we can always be caring and give our empathy when we can do nothing else. Remember this and be grateful that you are in a position to give empathy instead of to receive it.

We are all human and we all deserve love.

Love,
Nate

This post was written on August 25, 2008 and posted on February 9, 2009. Whoops.

You know, for as long as I can remember, my biggest fault is that I’m not dedicated enough to almost anything. And to other people, that comes off as seeing me continually late, uninterested in whatever we’re working on or barely participating because whatever I’m doing doesn’t spark my attention span much, etc…

This morning, I missed my summer class for the first time. It’s not really a big deal considering the semester is half over already, but I am so upset at myself for doing so. I guess the main reason is that it’s kind of pathetic that I wasn’t awake (on my own) for 10 am so I wasn’t able to get ready in time to make it to class without being late. So, I pretend that it’s no big deal to be 15 minutes late for a class that is only 90 minutes long, I get ready really quickly, I rush out the door and make it to the parking lot about 10:13ish, try to find a spot and there isn’t one in in sight. At this point, I realize that I haven’t changed as much as I keep thinking I have.

Next move, leave parking lot frustrated for wasting 2 dollars or more of gas money to get there, lose all hope of having a good day and decide that even though I’m on a really awesome diet where I’m eating extremely healthy foods with no fat at all and drinking only water, perhaps a delicious frapuccino-esque drink is in order for boosting my spirits of the lame morning. Now, this really isn’t that bad of a thing. I mean, what does it matter to cheat a little on a diet? I’m not overweight, I just have goals for myself. So, I cheated. And now I’m done with the coffee and it’s not even that big of a deal. But it all goes back to exactly what I said in the beginning, I just don’t seem that dedicated to anything. What is it with me?

I try and I try and I put forth so much effort and then I just give up one day because of one little setback. I have really got to build up some stamina or else I feel like all it’s going to take for my whole life to be thrown off its course is one little setback one day. And if that isn’t scary, I don’t know what is.

I guess in the grand scheme of things, missing one class period of highway construction isn’t that big of a deal to anyone, even me… however, I don’t want to lose all hope of not missing another class just because I missed this one. I know the way I work, though, and that’s probably what will happen.

When will I ever change into this person that I want to be? I know change is gradual, so I guess I’ll just keep working toward goals for myself like I have been trying to do for the last 6-7 years. Keep on keepin’ on I suppose… And you know what, why can’t I just be happy with who I am? I have been fighting that for years. Every now and then, I’ll be content, but it’s only a phase and soon it dissipates to wondering what will make me happier yet again. Come on, brain, make me happy for once.

As I’ve heard before:

Happiness is a journey, not a desination.

(or something like that, I’ve never been a very good quote-er)

At the end of the day, I’m freaking out over missing a class. Call me menstrual… I don’t get myself either.

What do you think?

Thanks for reading,

Nate